Relationship Trouble Red Flags | Don’t Commit Too Soon
Red flags show potential trouble in a relationship and are not just caution signs. They are your guide to avoiding emotional harm. Dating at any stage of life requires clarity. If you do not spot these signs early, you risk getting caught up in unnecessary drama and imbalance.
Let’s look at what matters most.
- A lack of empathy means they will struggle to connect and support you.
- Different core values will create tension and long-term incompatibility.
- Controlling behaviour will damage trust and limit your freedom.
Spot these red flags early and move forward with confidence. Dating should be about building something meaningful, not fixing someone else’s problems.
Red flag 1: Lack of empathy
Empathy forms the basis of emotional connection. If someone shows little interest in your feelings or dismisses what matters to you, it signals trouble for building a long-term relationship.
Example
You share that you have had a difficult day, and they respond with indifference or make it about themselves. This shows a lack of concern for your well-being.
What to look for
- Ask how they support others during hard times.
- Ask what they think about sharing emotions in a relationship.
Red flag response
“I think people should deal with their problems alone.”
Green flag response
“I try to listen and offer support where I can.”
Red flag 2: Different core values
Shared values help create a strong foundation. If key areas like family, lifestyle or beliefs do not match, it can lead to conflict and distance over time.
Example
You want a family but they are clear that they do not. This difference will create challenges that are hard to resolve.
What to look for
- Ask about their long-term goals.
- Ask how they see a successful relationship.
Red flag response
“I do not really think about long-term plans.”
Green flag response
“I want to work towards shared goals with a partner.”
Red flag 3: Controlling behaviour
A healthy relationship allows space for both people to grow. If someone tries to control your choices, it is a sign of insecurity and a lack of respect for your independence.
Example
They criticise who you spend time with or what you wear. This type of behaviour often increases over time and limits your freedom.
What to look for
- Ask how they feel about partners keeping close friends.
- Ask how they handle differences of opinion in decisions.
Red flag response
“If you care about me, you will prioritise what I want.”
Green flag response
“Independence makes a relationship stronger.”
Final thought
Dating should be about building a connection based on respect, trust and shared vision. When you see red flags, take them seriously and protect your time and energy. The right partner will support your growth, not limit it.
Resources
- 13 Red Flags in Relationships by Dr Kristalyn Salters-Pedneault. Covers behaviours such as constant criticism and boundary issues with guidance on how to respond.
- 10 Relationship Red Flags by Dr Abigail Brenner. Discusses warning signs like poor communication and lack of trust.
- 6 Potential Red Flags in a New Relationship by Dr Samantha Stein. Highlights behaviours such as excessive jealousy and controlling tendencies.
Written by Gary Gunn
Gary Gunn is an internationally accredited coach with 17 years of experience coaching single men.
He has spent years creating proven, real world systems that help men meet, attract and date the women they desire. He is also the best selling author of a book on confidence and dating.
Gary has taught in over 30 major cities worldwide and has coached more than 1,200 men globally through group courses, video coaching and one to one training.
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