Defeat Approach Anxiety | Simple, Effective Techniques
Destroy Approach Anxiety once and for all!
Imagine feeling paralysed by fear when you see a beautiful woman you want to talk to.
Whether at a social gathering, a coffee shop, or during a casual walk, this social anxiety can feel irrational, often triggering high anxiety symptoms, much like a feared situation.
The fear of rejection can be so overwhelming that it stops you from taking that first step, leading to low self-esteem and negative thinking.
Many people face approach anxiety when trying to initiate a conversation, especially with an attractive woman, leading to physical symptoms like sweating, shaking, panic attacks, or a racing heart.
This kind of mental health challenge can significantly impact one’s social interactions and self-esteem.
Now imagine a world where this doesn’t exist. Here’s how you can destroy approach anxiety and effortlessly approach women:
- BREATHE – Find calm in anxious moments and prepare yourself for successful interactions.
- ANCHOR – Replace self-doubt with empowering beliefs that boost your confidence before you speak.
- STRENGTH – Embody confidence with power posing, setting the stage for positive social experiences.
For over a decade, I’ve been coaching men to overcome these challenges and transform their dating lives, and we’re ready to help you do the same.
Our methods incorporate both mindfulness and relaxation techniques to promote mental well-being.
Learn how I coach clients to minimise anxiety symptoms using simple, effective exposure therapy practices, which are common methods for managing anxiety and treating related mental disorders.
If you are ready to transform and conquer your approach anxiety, we are here to help.
Click the link and you can also transform your dating life with our digital products and coaching courses.
Prefer video? Watch my approach anxiety video tutorial
Approach Anxiety Defined
When you feel an overwhelming sense of fear, nervousness, or discomfort that often surfaces when you’re thinking about or attempting to initiate a conversation with a woman, you have approach anxiety.
- GOOD – This feeling can cause panic and be paralysing, yet it’s something you can absolutely work through with the right tools and mindset.
Approach anxiety can have a major impact on your ability to form meaningful connections and pursue fulfilling relationships.
For example, you might hesitate to approach someone you’re interested in, missing out on opportunities to build a genuine connection.
- BAD – It often shows up as excessive worrying, anxious thoughts, or even sudden panic attacks that seem to come out of nowhere.
- BAD – These classic symptoms can also lead to physical reactions like sweating, shaking, or freezing up, making it incredibly challenging to take the first step.
- BAD – For many men, approach anxiety becomes so intense that they end up avoiding situations where they might meet women altogether.
Although avoiding these situations may provide temporary relief, it only reinforces the anxiety over time, creating a cycle that holds you back from making genuine connections and developing the confidence you want.
Click here to download an HD version of the image
Calm Approach Anxiety By Nasal Breathing
To help clients manage anxiety and regain control, we use nasal breathing techniques that encourage relaxation and focus.
When clients face anxious situations, they often breathe shallowly, which increases tension and limits oxygen intake.
By practising nasal breathing, clients learn to shift from rapid, shallow breaths – which are often associated with high anxiety – to deeper, more controlled breathing and even obsessive-compulsive disorder – to deeper, more controlled breathing.
This instantly helps them calm down and reduce anxiety sensitivity, regaining focus in social situations.
- Bad Breathing: Rapid, shallow breaths that increase stress and restrict oxygen flow.
- Good Breathing: Deep nasal breathing that calms the nervous system and improves oxygen flow.
How We Coach Clients to Use Nasal Breathing Effectively
To help clients integrate nasal breathing into their routines, we use a structured approach:
- FIRST STEP: I instruct my clients to inhale slowly through their nose for a count of four, ensuring the breath is deep and steady.
- SECOND STEP: Hold the breath for a count of four, allowing the body to fully absorb the oxygen and relax. This pause helps shift focus away from anxious thoughts and towards the present moment.
- THIRD STEP: Exhale slowly through your nose for a count of six. This longer exhale helps activate the relaxation response, promoting a feeling of calm.
Using nasal breathing constantly tells your body that you are fine and limits any stress responses you might have. This is important to limit anxiety during difficult situations.
A Clients Breakthrough
I worked with a client who struggled to approach any woman. He would freeze up and feel overwhelmed with panic, which would sometimes lead to a full-blown panic attack.
The first step we took was to help him breathe through his nose and relax his shoulders.
Once he got his physical symptoms under control, he found the courage to pay a woman a compliment.
This small step marked a significant breakthrough, showing how simple actions can make a big difference in overcoming approach anxiety, negative thinking, and building real confidence.
Click here to download an HD version of the image
Beat Approach Anxiety Using A Mantra Or Affirmation
To help clients overcome anxiety and negative self-talk, we coach them to use powerful affirmations that shift their mindset instantly.
When clients face anxious situations, they often repeat negative thoughts that increase stress, contribute to depressive symptoms, and amplify self-doubt.
These mood disorders can heighten the anxiety experienced in social interactions, further complicating mental health.
By coaching clients to replace these unhelpful thoughts with positive affirmations like, “I am in control,” we help them create an immediate boost in confidence and calmness.
- Unhelpful Thought Example: “I can’t do this.”
- Helpful Thought Example: “I feel like I can’t do this, but I will try because I will learn something.”
This quick shift in thought allows clients to break free from hesitation and approach social situations with confidence.
This proved to them that even with fear, they can take action and overcome the anxiety that stems from an irrational fear of rejection.
How We Coach Clients to Use Mantras Effectively
To help clients overcome anxiety, we provide structured support to ensure lasting results:
- FIRST STEP: We help clients identify the specific negative thoughts holding them back and create empowering affirmations. If a client thinks, “I’m not good enough,” we guide them to create an affirmation like, “I bring value to every conversation.” This helps reframe the moment and replace fear with empowerment.
- SECOND STEP: Clients develop a custom mantra, practising it while focusing on slow breathing to anchor the message. They practice repeating affirmations like, “Every approach makes me stronger.” while focusing on slow breathing to anchor the mantra. This ensures that the positive message is ready when needed.
- THIRD STEP: General fears are reframed to spark motivation, allowing action despite anxiety. For example, “I might embarrass myself,” can be reframed as, “I may feel nervous, but it’s an opportunity to grow.” This reframing sparks motivation, allowing them to take action despite anxiety symptoms.
Client Success Story: Transforming Negative Thoughts
One client struggled with the thought, “I do not want to interrupt her.”
Together, we replaced this limiting belief with a positive affirmation: “I create my own opportunities.”
Over the weekend, he approached over 100 women, proving to himself that he could overcome his fears.
This breakthrough showed that shifting mindset and using affirmations can lead to dramatic changes in confidence, behaviour, and overall mental health.
Click here to download an HD version of the image
Defeat Anxious Energy With Power Posing
Power posing is one of the most effective strategies we coach our clients to use for managing approach anxiety by promoting feelings of strength and confidence through body language.
When you adopt an open, expansive posture, your body sends signals to your brain that reduce stress and boost self-assurance, making it easier to approach social situations.
- Bad Posture Example: Slouching with your shoulders hunched forward, can increase feelings of insecurity and anxiety.
- Good Posture Example: Standing tall with your shoulders back, feet firmly planted, and head held high. This posture conveys confidence to both yourself and others.
How We Coach Clients to Use Power Posing Effectively
To help clients use power posing to overcome anxiety, we use a structured approach:
- FIRST STEP: Adopt A Power Pose When Feeling Anxious. I tell my clients to imagine they have just won the Olympic 100m Final and to show me their celebration.
- SECOND STEP: Add A Trigger To Pull The Pose. As I coach my clients I tell them to pull their power pose the moment they see an attractive woman. This helps overcome approach anxiety by creating a conditioned response to feared situations, training them to take action as soon as they see someone.
- THIRD STEP: Combine Power Posing with Deep Breathing. To maximize the calming effects, we coach clients to pair this posture with slow breathing and promote relaxation. This allows clients to boost their overall confidence.
Client Success Story: Using Power Posing to Boost Energy
One client was afraid to approach women because he didn’t think they would stop for him.
His energy levels dropped whenever he tried to initiate contact, which triggered feelings of low self-esteem.
We had him adopt a power pose before approaching women.
Standing tall, taking up space, and raising his energy increased his confidence dramatically.
As a result, he successfully approached women, and his confidence grew with each positive interaction, significantly improving his mental health and ability to handle stressful situations.
Click here to download an HD version of the image
Summary
Approach anxiety can feel overwhelming, but with the right tools and strategies, it is possible to overcome it effectively.
In this blog, I’ve outlined our proven coaching methods to help clients transform their approach to social interactions.
- Breathe and Calm Anxiety: Nasal breathing is a powerful technique to regain control and calm anxious thoughts in stressful situations. By practising deep, steady breathing, clients learn to manage anxiety symptoms and approach social settings with greater focus.
- Replace Negative Thoughts with Empowering Beliefs: Using mantras or affirmations helps clients break free from self-doubt. By reframing negative thoughts into positive affirmations, clients replace hesitation with motivation and boost their confidence instantly.
- Embody Confidence Through Power Posing: Power posing is an effective strategy that helps clients project confidence through body language. By adopting open, strong postures, clients not only feel more self-assured but also prepare themselves to step out of their comfort zones and interact successfully.
These strategies help clients face approach anxiety head-on, improving their mental health, self-esteem, and ability to engage in meaningful social interactions.
Our coaching focuses on real-world application, helping clients take action immediately and build resilience through repeated practice, click here to book a free consultation call with me.
Transform Your Dating Life With Our Courses & Digital Products
Our Social Attraction Courses
Transform your dating life with our courses, designed by our founder Gary Gunn and delivered by our team.
Free consultation call with our founder – Gary Gunn
“Secure a 45-minute video call and I can explain more about how our courses can help you get the dating life you desire.”
Our advanced digital products & online courses
Learn how to develop true self-confidence in your dating life by taking an online course from anywhere in the world.
Resources
- Carney, D. R., Cuddy, A. J. C., & Yap, A. J. (2010). Power posing: Brief nonverbal displays affect neuroendocrine levels and risk tolerance. Psychological Science, 21(10), 1363-1368. This study found that adopting high-power poses (such as standing tall with shoulders back and head held high) for just two minutes can lead to increased testosterone levels, decreased cortisol levels, and greater risk-taking behavior. This supports the idea that power posing can increase feelings of confidence and reduce anxiety.
- Ma, X., Yue, Z. Q., Gong, Z. Q., Zhang, H., Duan, N. Y., Shi, Y. T., Wei, G. X., & Li, Y. F. (2017). The effect of diaphragmatic breathing on attention, negative affect and stress in healthy adults. Frontiers in Psychology, 8, 874. This study examined the effect of diaphragmatic breathing (a deep breathing technique similar to the discreet deep breathing exercise mentioned earlier) on attention, negative affect, and stress. The results showed that diaphragmatic breathing significantly improved attention and decreased negative affect and stress levels in participants, indicating the potential benefits of deep breathing exercises for anxiety reduction.
- Abramowitz, J. S., et al. (2019). The effectiveness of exposure therapy for anxiety-related disorders. Journal of Anxiety Disorders. This study discusses the strong empirical support for exposure therapy as an effective treatment for various anxiety disorders, including social anxiety disorder. The research highlights that exposure therapy is considered the gold standard in helping individuals confront feared situations and reduce avoidance behaviours.
- Ost, L. G. (2012). Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Social Anxiety Disorder: Current Status and Future Directions. Clinical Psychology Review. This review emphasizes the role of cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), which often includes exposure therapy, as a highly effective approach for treating social anxiety disorder. It helps individuals challenge negative thoughts and limiting beliefs that maintain anxiety.
Written by Gary Gunn
Gary Gunn is a trained coach, accredited therapist and best selling author. He offers proven, evidence-based dating advice for single men.
He has hosted over 1,000 in-person dating confidence courses across the UK and Europe, as well as over 1,500 online courses.
As the head coach at Social Attraction, he leads the team and oversees the training and courses provided, helping countless men transform their dating lives.
