Why Storytelling With Women Is More About Energy Than Content

Written by dating coach for men Gary Gunn - Founder of Social Attraction

9 August 2025

I can give you the best story to tell a woman — word-for-word, with perfect timing — but if you tell it without energy, it won’t land. At all.

Over the past decade, I’ve coached hundreds of men on how to use storytelling with women to create chemistry, build connection, and spark desire.

Some men get results overnight. Others keep falling flat.

And the difference isn’t the story.

It’s the energy behind it.

In this post, I’ll break down the real reason storytelling works, how most men sabotage themselves when speaking to women, and what to do instead.

Let’s get into it.

Table of Contents

Attraction Is About Excess — Not Logic

Here’s the first truth you need to understand:
Women are attracted to excess.

Not just good looks. Not just confidence. Excess.

Excess strength? Attractive.
Excess wealth? Attractive.
Excess presence, movement, charisma? All deeply attractive.

Now apply that to your voice.
Apply that to your storytelling.

You think being calm and quiet shows control — but what it actually shows is that you’re hiding.

When I coach men live on the streets of London, I watch them open women with flat energy. And guess what? Women don’t even hear them — literally. They’re too soft, too reserved, too safe.

But the moment a man owns the space — raises his voice, moves his hands, animates his face — everything changes.

That’s the power of excess.

Why Most Men Fail At Storytelling

Here’s what I see in almost every new client:

They speak at around 60% energy.
Why? Because it protects their ego.

“If I don’t go all in, and she doesn’t respond, it won’t hurt that much.”

But you can’t be magnetic at 60%.

Storytelling with women requires you to go all in. To put 90–100% of your energy behind what you’re saying. That’s what creates presence. That’s what gets her attention.

Let me give you an example.

Flat version:

“So I woke up late today, and I was behind, and my boss messaged me because I was late.”

Now with energy:

“I woke up so late this morning — I literally launched out of bed like I’d been electrocuted. And just as I’m putting my shirt on, boom — my boss messages me asking where I am.”

Same content. Completely different effect.

Why? Because in the second version, you feel it. And when you feel it, she feels it.

Storytelling Is a Physical Skill

Another big mistake guys make?

They keep their body still when they speak.

If your arms are by your side, your energy drops. Your voice dulls. Your presence shrinks.

The solution is simple: move.

When you’re telling a story — especially in person — gesture with your hands. Use your arms. Move your shoulders. Let the story live in your body.

Don’t think of storytelling as just a mental or verbal task.

It’s physical.

And the more you move, the more your energy rises. The more engaged you become. The more magnetic you appear.

Don’t Rehearse. Improvise.

A lot of guys ask me:
“Should I memorize a few stories before dates?”

And my answer is always the same:
No. Memorize the structure. Then improvise.

Here’s why.

Rehearsed stories sound robotic. Stiff. Like you’re reciting lines from a movie you’ve already watched 100 times.

But when you improvise from a structure — when you speak fresh, from the moment — you’re emotionally present.

And presence beats perfection every time.

That’s why in my courses, I coach men to build stories around frameworks:

Set the scene
Describe the tension
Share the emotional response
Land the insight or punchline

Once you’ve got that down, you can tell any story with natural flow — and still lead the conversation exactly where you want it to go.

How to Practice Storytelling With Women

Here’s a drill I give all my private clients:

Pick one personal story — something light, ideally humorous.
Record yourself telling it without moving your body.
Then tell it again, using full-body movement — hands, eyes, face, arms.
Watch both videos. Notice how different you sound and feel.

The second version is always more compelling.

Always.

That’s because when you move, you activate more of your nervous system. Your voice deepens. Your words flow. Your confidence spikes.

And that’s the version of you women want to meet.

Final Thoughts — Speak With Energy, Or Don’t Speak At All

If you’re holding back when you speak to women — trying to be smooth, clever, or perfect — you’re missing the point.

You’re not being felt.

And if she doesn’t feel anything, there’s no attraction.

So here’s your rule going forward:

Speak like a man who has something to say.
Move like a man who owns the room.
Tell your stories like they matter — because they do.

You don’t need more tips. You don’t need to rehearse.

You need to bring more energy.

Because energy is the difference between being heard — and being desired.

Want to Master Storytelling With Women?

If this resonated with you, and you’re ready to build this skill properly — I’ve got two ways to help:

Start one of my digital training programs and learn how to build attraction through communication.
Or apply to work with me 1-to-1, and I’ll personally coach you on your presence, storytelling, and charisma.

Remember:
You’re one energetic conversation away from changing your dating life.

Let’s make it happen.