Decoding Daygame Instant Dates
So, in today’s blog, I’m going to be decoding some day game for you. It’s now Monday. On Saturday and Sunday, I was hosting one of my daygame courses in London. I had three of my coaches alongside me. What I wanted to do today was talk through what happened yesterday.
If you’d like to know what happened on Saturday, check out the previous post.
So, what actually happened on the course? We met the clients in the morning. There were two of them, and we focused on two core elements of day game:
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Staying in conversation longer
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Going on instant dates
If you’re new to day game and haven’t approached women in the real world before, these can seem advanced. That’s because most guys struggle with just the initial approach.
Over the past 17 years of running these courses, almost every guy I’ve coached has needed help with the approach. Even if you think you can do it, there are always elements that can improve—like your posture, how close you’re standing, your eye contact, or the way you pause.
Day Game is a Skill
There’s a technical side to day game that people often overlook. For example, if you’re a big guy, you need to approach women differently than a slight guy. A big guy can unintentionally intimidate, while a smaller guy may be ignored.
This is why I teach specific techniques on body language, tone, and positioning. I’ve got tutorials and demonstrations available, but today I want to focus on two things: how to stay in conversation longer, and how to go on day game instant dates.
If you’re meeting women during the day but not going on instant dates, you’re missing the magic of day game. Instant dates are where genuine connections happen. If you only exchange numbers, the chances of her messaging you again drop significantly.
Why Instant Dates Matter
There is a caveat. If you’re highly skilled at creating sexual tension quickly, you can get a woman to text you later without doing an instant date. But that’s an advanced skill.
For now, let’s focus on what most men need: how to keep the conversation going and how to naturally lead into an instant date.
So, let’s break it down.
How to Stay in Conversation Longer
Let’s say you approach a woman, give her a compliment, and it goes well. But then she starts walking away or giving excuses like, “I’m in a rush,” or “I’m meeting a friend.”
These aren’t rejections. These are subtle ways to excuse themselves because you’re making it awkward. You haven’t progressed to the next phase. And when someone feels uncomfortable, especially someone who doesn’t know you, they leave.
When I coach, I’m developing courage and confidence in my clients. But I’m also teaching them how to make women feel safe. Both matter. You don’t want to go around making women feel uneasy.
Instead, your job is to add value at every stage of the interaction. Add value when you approach, and add value as you continue the conversation.
The Psychology of Moving
One key tip is to move slightly after the initial approach. Here’s the psychology:
When you meet someone, you’re two individuals. But if you both move together, even just slightly, you start to feel like a pair.
In films, you’ll notice that when the couple first meets, they end up walking somewhere together or sitting together. The same applies to real life.
So if you’re standing still, just say, “We’re in the way, let’s move over here.” Then lean against a wall or a shop window.
This movement does three things:
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It helps relax your body language
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It locks the woman into the conversation
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It makes you feel like a couple instead of two strangers
Just this shift alone can change a 30-second chat into a 20-minute conversation. It’s incredibly powerful.
Storytelling That Connects
Once you’ve made that physical move and the conversation is flowing, the next challenge is: what do you talk about?
There are hundreds of techniques I use depending on the client, but here are a few universal ones.
Childhood Stories
This is a major one. If she mentions something like coffee or books, share a story from your childhood that connects to that theme.
For example, if she mentions books, you can say:
“I remember the first time I read a book and thought, this guy really understands me. I didn’t realize you could feel that way through written words.”
Childhood stories reveal your character. They show depth and give her multiple conversational threads to follow.
Instead of just saying, “I like reading,” you’re painting a picture of who you are. It gives her a chance to emotionally connect.
I began using this technique after working with a client who wasn’t progressing. One night, I watched a film that cut to the main character as a child. That gave me the idea.
The next day, I told my client to try sharing childhood memories based on a single word. It worked like magic.
You can practice this too. Ask a friend to give you a random word and then recall your earliest memory linked to it.
But here’s the catch: don’t rehearse your stories. The power of childhood stories lies in their authenticity. Repeating the same story again and again makes it robotic. I never tell the same story twice when talking to women.
Word Association
This is another easy tool. Just talk freely when a word comes up.
For example, if she says “coffee,” you can say:
“There’s this amazing new coffee shop near me. They ice your coffee just right, and the milk they use tastes incredible. There’s a line out the door every morning.”
When telling stories, try to offer six threads that she can respond to. And if she doesn’t ask a question back, end your story with one yourself.
Say something like, “Have you got a coffee shop near you like that?”
This engages her directly and keeps the conversation alive.
How to Use Emotion in Conversations
Another great technique is using emotional reflection. If a woman says, “I like going to the gym because it makes me feel good,” you can reflect it back with:
“You feel great when you go to the gym because it helps clear your mind.”
That’s called a pure reflection, and it’s a method taken from behavioral psychology. If you go to therapy, a good behavioral psychologist will often reflect your words back to you. Why? Because it shows you’ve been heard.
In dating, that builds connection. Nodding alone isn’t enough. Reflecting someone’s emotion and reason back to them shows empathy.
You can even expand on this. Let’s say she says she enjoys reading at night. You could say:
“On the one hand, you enjoy the quiet of reading before bed. On the other hand, it helps you switch off from a busy day.”
These are called balanced reflections. You’re acknowledging two different emotional truths.
This can also be used in a teasing way. For example, if she says she likes going to the gym because it feels good, you can respond with:
“Oh, you mean you like going to the gym because you get to flirt with all the guys there.”
That’s a misinterpretation tease, and it’s a fun way to flirt while still using the emotional reflection framework.
These techniques aren’t random. They’re part of a coded method I’ve developed over years of real-world coaching.
Finding Common Ground
Another powerful way to continue the conversation is to vibe on shared interests.
If she says she enjoys reading, ask her:
“What’s your favorite book and why?” Then share yours.
The goal isn’t just to talk. It’s to showcase your personality through shared topics.
This is what makes day game instant dates so effective. When you connect deeply, women are far more likely to want to keep spending time with you right then.
Instant Date Mistakes Most Guys Make
Here’s where most guys mess it up. They say things like:
“Would you like to go for a coffee?”
“Can I have your number?”
“Do you want to go on a date?”
These come across as needy or unsure. They sound like you want something from her, which turns the energy flat.
Day game instant dates don’t work when the energy dips.
Over the years, I’ve tested every way of exchanging contact details. One method stands out above the rest.
Let’s say you’re having a good conversation. Rather than ask for her number, try this:
“You know what? I’ve got to go. It’s been really nice meeting you. On Friday night, I’m doing this. Take my number. If you want to join me, text me by midday tomorrow.”
This flips the power dynamic. You’re inviting her into your world. You’re not chasing her. You’re offering a genuine opportunity and letting her decide.
And here’s what happens:
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If she doesn’t text you, you learn that something put her off
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If she does text, she’s already committed to seeing you again
That clarity saves a lot of pain and confusion.
How to Lead to the Instant Date
Now let’s break down the actual day game instant date.
This is that magical, almost spiritual moment when a woman agrees to spend time with you right there and then.
To make that happen, your energy has to match the beginning of the interaction. Remember how you started with:
“Excuse me. I just had to say, thank you for wearing that outfit. You look incredible.”
That’s warm. It’s confident. That’s the same tone you need when you transition into the instant date.
If you say, “Um… do you want to grab a drink?” and your voice dips, it ruins the vibe.
Instead, do this:
“This has been fun. I was just about to grab a coffee—come with me.”
Short, sharp, warm, and confident. The same high energy you started with.
Because when you drop your energy, you invite her to make an excuse. And if you’re awkward about it, she will sense that. She’ll say she’s busy, even if she’s enjoying it.
Most women want to go on instant dates. They want the fun, spontaneous connection. But they won’t say yes if the vibe is off.
This principle changed everything for my clients. One day they’re chasing numbers and getting ignored. The next, they’re sharing drinks, cocktails, even getting invited to join women later that night.
Leadership is Charisma
At the core of all this is leadership.
You’re not trying to pick up women. You’re expressing who you are in a way that allows women the time to experience your personality.
You lead from the first word. You lead the movement. You lead the connection. You lead into the instant date.
That’s what creates day game instant dates. And the first one you ever go on will change your life.
The Power of Your First Instant Date
The first instant date you ever go on is a spiritual moment. It’s a milestone.
Because once you’ve done it, you can’t go back. You’ve proven to yourself that it’s possible.
It opens the door to meeting women anywhere in the world. Whether you’re in London, Paris, New York, or Bali—these same principles apply.
I’ve worked in so many cities and cultures. And these techniques work every time because they’re built on universal psychology:
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Confidence
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Empathy
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Connection
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Leadership
These are human truths that don’t change based on location.
It’s About Freedom, Not Just Results
The goal of day game isn’t just to pick up women or to stack numbers.
It’s to gain freedom.
Freedom to express who you are. Freedom to go up to someone you find attractive and start something real.
It’s about being the guy who sees a beautiful woman walking past and doesn’t just think, “What if?”
You take action. You start the conversation. You lead.
And that leads to magical, life-changing experiences—sometimes even relationships, deep connections, unforgettable nights.
I say this all the time, but it’s worth repeating: the result is great, but the freedom is what changes your life.
Recap of Core Techniques
Here’s a quick recap of the key techniques to create successful day game instant dates:
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Move slightly after the approach
Progress from two strangers standing awkwardly to a pair connecting together. -
Tell childhood stories
Reveal your character. Make her feel like she’s getting to know the real you. -
Use word association
Let conversations flow naturally without forcing anything. -
Ask engaging follow-ups
If she doesn’t respond with a question, end your story with one. Keep her involved. -
Reflect emotion with empathy
Show you understand her. It builds trust fast. -
Misinterpret for teasing
Use humor to create flirtation and playfulness. -
Match your energy when inviting
Don’t let the vibe dip. Transition into the instant date with the same warmth and leadership you used at the start. -
Offer, don’t chase
Give her your number and tell her when to text if she wants to join. You’re inviting her into your world, not pursuing her out of need.
Final Thoughts
If you’ve never done day game before, start small.
Practice saying hi. Practice giving compliments. Then learn to move, connect, and tell stories.
And when it’s time—share that first instant date.
Because after that moment, everything changes. You’ll realize that meeting women in the real world doesn’t have to be hard.
It can be fun. Natural. Magnetic.
And it can lead to some of the most incredible moments of your life.
Written by Gary Gunn
Gary Gunn is an internationally accredited coach with 17 years of experience coaching single men.
He has spent years creating proven, real world systems that help men meet, attract and date the women they desire. He is also the best selling author of a book on confidence and dating.
Gary has taught in over 30 major cities worldwide and has coached more than 1,200 men globally through group courses, video coaching and one to one training.
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