How to Make Women Respect You
How to Get a Woman to Respect You
The two things that will control whether a woman respects you or not are your appearance and your manner. Your appearance is how you are dressed, your haircut, your age, your ethnicity, and everything about how you appear to that person. Where you have room to maneuver is with your manner.
In my professional experience working as a coach for 17 years, most men in their dating life are submissive around attractive women. What happens is your manner becomes submissive and therefore she does not respect you.
A lot of guys try to fix this by wearing a suit, dressing smart, or buying expensive clothes. The problem is that if your appearance is good but you do not work on your manner, a woman will see straight through it. That is why you see men wearing suits, well dressed, and still struggling in their dating life. They are struggling to attract women because their manner is not conducive to success.
So, how do you fix this?
The Importance of Manner Over Appearance
Let’s say you are going along your normal daily life. You meet an attractive woman and when you start a conversation with her, she says, I am in a rush or I am busy. If your manner is submissive, you will just say, Okay, fine. Bye.
But what about if you changed your manner from submissive to confident? What difference would that make?
Often when men ask me for dating advice, they say that starting a conversation is fine but the problem is when she makes her excuses to leave. The truth is you are leaving it too late. What you need to do is change your manner at the very beginning.
If you approach her in a hesitant or indirect way, you already make your manner unattractive. That is why it is important to start strong and confident right away.
Simple Ways to Change Your Manner
There are a few practical things you can do to make your manner more attractive.
Number one, always be on your way somewhere. For example, if you meet a woman and say, I have just been to the gym, the energy falls flat. But if you say, I am just on my way to the gym, suddenly there is more energy.
Context is always important. Do not be the guy that hangs around waiting for a chance to talk to a woman. Always have somewhere you are going. Hold a notebook and you are on your way to plan something. If you are at the airport, you are on your way to a course or a flight. Always be the man on his way somewhere.
This instantly makes your manner more self-confident. Even if you are deliberately going out to meet women during the day, pick a destination like an art gallery or a café. You need to have purpose.
How to Get a Woman to Respect You
So how do you get a woman to respect you? It all comes down to changing your manner. You have to change from being submissive to being assertive and confident.
For example, if you are in conversation with a woman and she says, I should really get going, that does not always mean she truly wants to leave. Often it is a test of your manner.
If you are submissive, you will say something like, Nice to meet you, and let her go. If you are assertive, you might say, I should really get going too, but before I do, tell me something about yourself I would not notice just by looking at you.
This shows confidence and keeps the interaction alive.
Developing the Right Mindset
One of the ways I help clients grow quickly is by shifting their mindset. Many men deep down do not believe they have the right to be around attractive women. They think, Maybe I will get lucky. Men who are successful believe they belong there.
The first step is recognizing that you have the right to be there. The next step is to dominate your space. Imagine your head being lifted by a string so it is held high. Imagine spreading your arms wide and drawing a circle around you. This is your space and you have the right to own it.
When someone enters your space, you still own it. If you start a conversation with a woman while holding this frame, she is entering your world. This automatically raises your confidence and assertiveness.
When you expand your posture and take up space, you project power. You do not need to be two meters tall. You need to use the posture and energy you already have. When you believe you belong, you speak with more authority and women naturally respect you more.
Taking Up Space With Confidence
Respect comes when you are not afraid to take up time and space. If a woman says, I might need to go, do not shrink away. Do not be afraid to take center stage.
Clients often ask me why women respond differently to me even when I seem to be doing the same things as them. The answer is that I am not doing the same thing. I am taking up more space and projecting that I belong there.
When I believe I am supposed to be there, I dictate what happens in my world. I create a strong and powerful frame. When a woman enters that frame, she feels safe because she is in my zone. This creates the instinctive respect women feel for protectors.
Why Appearance Matters Less Than Manner
When I coach men, I often get asked about clothing. The truth is, I do not really care what people wear when I am coaching them. I would be just as successful in my dating life wearing shorts and a t-shirt as I would be in a three-piece suit.
The only thing I change is the context. If I am in a suit, I frame myself as being on the way to a board meeting. If I am dressed casually, then I am on the way to the gym or meeting friends.
What matters most is that you are always on your way somewhere and that you own your frame. Your manner is what makes you attractive and earns respect, not the brand of clothing on your back.
Being the King of Your World
Another way to understand how to get a woman to respect you is by adopting the mindset of being the king of your world. You do not need to be the king of her world, or of everyone’s world, but you can absolutely be the king of your own.
When you are the king of your world, you set the rules. You say what you want, you act how you want, and you move how you want. That kind of energy is magnetic because it shows you are in control.
This gives you freedom to be playful, to tease, to disagree, or to share your opinions without hesitation. For example, if you want to exchange numbers and she suggests Instagram, you simply say no. You do not bend your world to hers. You invite her into your world.
Overcoming Resistance in Real Life
When you start applying this in the real world, there will be resistance. You will feel anxiety. You will feel the temptation to go back to being the old you, the submissive you. That resistance is normal.
To overcome it, you have to lean into taking risks. Believe in yourself enough to say what you actually want. If she says something you do not agree with, disagree. If she says something silly, make fun of it playfully.
These actions communicate strength and confidence. They show her you are not afraid to lead, and that makes her respect you.
Why Self Respect Comes First
At this point, we need to look deeper. If you are asking how to get a woman to respect you, the first place to start is with self respect.
If you do not respect yourself, it is impossible for her to respect you. Self respect means you live in alignment with your values. It means you take care of your body, your health, and your goals. It means you do not tolerate people wasting your time or disrespecting you.
When I have gone through stressful times in my own life, I have noticed how easy it is to lose respect for myself. I would skip exercise, tell myself I was too busy, and make excuses. That lack of discipline eroded my self respect.
When you start exercising daily, reading, learning, and cutting out negative habits like binge drinking or overeating, you rebuild that foundation of respect from within. And when you respect yourself, women will respect you automatically.
Setting Boundaries in Your Kingdom
Think of your life as your kingdom. As the king of your kingdom, you decide what is acceptable and what is not.
If people do not return your texts within a reasonable time, you have every right to remove them from your life. If women on social media are not giving you the type of connection you want, unfollow them.
Start cutting away anything and anyone that does not serve you. This is not being harsh or controlling. It is simply taking responsibility for your world.
Imagine yourself as a screenwriter. Characters come and go in your story. If they are not helping your story move forward, you write them out. That is the same with your life.
Expressing What You Truly Want
Another powerful way to gain respect is by expressing what you really want. Most men hide behind vague words. They say things like, I would like to go for dinner, when in reality that is not what they want.
If you want to hook up with her, be clear about it. If you want a relationship, say it. If you want her to stop talking to her ex, communicate it.
This is not about being controlling. It is about respecting yourself enough to be honest. The response you get does not matter. What matters is that you expressed your truth.
Respect Comes From Alignment
The final point is this. Respect is about alignment. If your words, actions, and manner are all aligned, you naturally project confidence.
Women are incredibly intuitive. They can sense when your appearance does not match your manner. They can tell when you are saying something you do not believe.
The only way to make a woman respect you is to respect yourself, take ownership of your world, and communicate directly.
That is how to get a woman to respect you.
Why Your Manner Outweighs Your Looks
You can change your clothes in seconds. You can style your hair differently in minutes. But your manner, the way you move, speak, and carry yourself, is the real factor that answers the question of how to get a woman to respect you.
Think about it. We all know men who are good looking but still get walked over in relationships. We also know men who are not model-like but command attention the second they enter a room. The difference is manner.
Your manner is the combination of posture, voice tone, presence, and conviction. It is the way you occupy space, and it is the reason people listen when you speak. A man with the right manner can walk into a room in casual clothes and still be the most attractive man there.
The Submissive Manner Versus the Dominant Manner
Many men develop a submissive manner without realizing it. They avoid eye contact, they move quickly to please others, they laugh nervously, and they allow other people to set the tone of the interaction.
Contrast that with the dominant manner. A man with a dominant manner moves with composure. He holds eye contact without fear. He takes his time when speaking. His energy communicates authority.
Women respond instinctively to this difference. If you are submissive, she cannot respect you because she senses you do not even respect yourself. If you are dominant in your manner, she feels secure and attracted.
Reprogramming Your Manner
The good news is that you can change your manner. It is not fixed. Life may have shaped your behavior up to this point, but you can take control and deliberately reshape it.
Start with posture. Stand tall, as if a string is pulling your head upward. Imagine your arms expanding outward, taking up space. Draw an invisible circle around yourself and claim it as your arena.
Next, slow down your movements. Do not rush to react to everything she says. Speak with pauses. Move with deliberation. This creates the frame that you are a man in control of himself and his environment.
Practice these behaviors until they become second nature. Over time, your manner will shift from submissive to confident and dominant.
How to Get a Woman to Respect You Through Boundaries
Boundaries are another crucial part of respect. If you do not enforce boundaries, women will not respect you.
For example, if she cancels on you at the last minute without a good reason, do not chase her. Do not beg for another chance. Instead, pull back and focus on your own life.
If she suggests something you do not want, such as switching to social media instead of giving her number, you calmly decline. Boundaries are not about being aggressive. They are about calmly enforcing what is acceptable in your world.
Women are drawn to men with strong boundaries because it shows inner strength. It communicates that you know your worth and will not settle for less.
The Link Between Self Discipline and Respect
Self discipline is directly tied to respect. If you cannot control yourself, you cannot expect respect from others.
Think about daily habits. Do you exercise consistently? Do you eat healthy food most of the time? Do you read and grow your mind? Do you avoid wasting endless hours scrolling or drinking excessively?
These small actions send a powerful message to yourself. They tell your subconscious that you respect yourself. And when you respect yourself, it naturally radiates outward. Women notice these things. They see how you look after yourself, how you carry yourself, and they respect you because you clearly respect yourself first.
Why Speaking Your Truth Commands Respect
Another practical way to understand how to get a woman to respect you is by speaking your truth without fear. Most men sugarcoat what they want. They hide behind safe statements because they fear rejection.
For example, if you want to take her home but you instead say, let’s maybe grab coffee sometime, you are not being honest. She feels that incongruence.
A man who speaks his truth clearly and without apology instantly earns respect, even if she declines. She respects the courage and the authenticity.
It might feel uncomfortable at first. Resistance will arise. But every time you speak your truth, you reinforce the belief that you have a right to be there, that you have a right to ask for what you want, and that you live by your own rules.
The Role of Presence in Earning Respect
Presence is another piece of the puzzle. Presence means being fully engaged in the moment.
When you are speaking to a woman, are you distracted by your phone, by the people walking past, or by your own thoughts? Or are you fully immersed in her world, listening deeply, and responding with intent?
Women feel presence. When you are truly present, she feels like she is the only woman in the world at that moment. That level of focus is rare, and it creates deep respect.
The key is to practice mindfulness in everyday life. When you are at the gym, focus only on the workout. When you are reading, focus only on the book. Training your brain to stay present will make your interactions with women infinitely stronger.
Respect as a Mirror of Your Inner World
Ultimately, the way a woman respects you is a reflection of how you respect yourself.
If you are disciplined, honest, assertive, and present, women will mirror that respect back to you. If you are sloppy, submissive, and uncertain, they will sense it immediately and treat you accordingly.
This is why appearance alone cannot earn respect. Suits, haircuts, and expensive watches are meaningless if they are not backed up by the right manner and mindset.
Respect begins and ends with you. Build it within yourself, enforce it through your boundaries, and communicate it through your manner. That is how to get a woman to respect you.
Practical Exercises to Shift Your Manner
Now that we have established the importance of manner, the question becomes: how can you actually shift it? Many men hear the advice to be confident or to be dominant, but they struggle to apply it in daily life. The key is to break it down into practical exercises you can practice every single day.
The first exercise is posture training. Each morning, stand in front of the mirror. Imagine a string pulling your head upward. Roll your shoulders back. Spread your chest slightly forward. Breathe deeply and slowly. Hold this for one minute, then walk around your space with that posture. This builds muscle memory so that when you meet a woman, your body naturally communicates confidence.
The second exercise is voice control. Record yourself reading a paragraph from a book. Listen carefully. Are you speaking too fast? Do you sound nervous or uncertain? Now repeat the same paragraph slowly, pausing between sentences, and lowering your voice tone slightly. Do this daily until your natural speaking voice feels calm and deliberate.
The third exercise is presence practice. Set a timer for ten minutes each day. Sit quietly and focus only on your breathing. Each time your mind wanders, gently bring it back to your breath. This practice teaches you to stay in the moment. When you approach a woman, this skill allows you to focus fully on her instead of getting trapped in anxious thoughts.
Using Boundaries in Real Situations
Boundaries are often misunderstood. Many men think boundaries are about being harsh or controlling. In reality, they are about respecting yourself and expecting the same from others.
Here are a few examples of how to apply boundaries in your dating life.
If you ask a woman out and she cancels last minute without a good reason, you do not immediately reschedule. Instead, you step back and give her the chance to come to you. This communicates that your time is valuable.
If you are in conversation and she tests you by saying something dismissive, you do not get defensive. You respond with calm humor or you change the subject. This shows that you cannot be rattled easily.
If you are exchanging numbers and she offers her Instagram instead, you politely decline if that does not align with your preference. You are not aggressive, you are simply clear.
These small acts send a powerful message. They show that you live by your own rules, and that is exactly how to get a woman to respect you.
The Importance of Owning Your Space
Owning your space is another physical way to generate respect. This is not about being aggressive or intimidating. It is about standing with authority wherever you are.
When you walk into a room, do not shrink yourself. Do not look down at the floor. Instead, enter with calm movements, look around, and take your time to settle. If you are speaking to a woman on the street, do not lean in nervously. Stand tall, slightly angled, and hold your ground.
A useful visualization is to imagine that you are the host of the environment. Whether you are in a café, a park, or a gallery, act as if you are the man who belongs there and everyone else is your guest. This subtle shift changes how you carry yourself and immediately increases respect.
Why Self Respect Comes First
You cannot expect others to respect you if you do not respect yourself first. This is a principle that applies to all areas of life.
Self respect is built by keeping promises to yourself. If you say you will go to the gym three times a week, you do it. If you say you will stop drinking excessively, you stop. If you say you will read for thirty minutes each day, you read.
Each time you follow through, you reinforce the belief that your word matters. This builds inner strength and integrity. Women pick up on this instantly. They sense whether you are a man of discipline or a man who gives in to weakness.
If you want to know how to get a woman to respect you, start by respecting yourself in your health, your habits, your finances, and your goals.
Speaking With Authority
Words carry energy. The way you speak is often more important than what you say.
When you approach a woman, do not rush. Do not fill every silence with nervous chatter. Speak clearly, pause often, and look her in the eyes.
Instead of asking endless questions, make statements. For example, instead of asking, “Do you like this café?” you can say, “This café has a great atmosphere. I like how relaxed it feels.” Statements carry more authority than constant questions.
Avoid filler words such as “um,” “like,” or “you know.” Practice speaking in clean sentences. A man who speaks with authority projects confidence, and confidence creates respect.
The Power of Disagreement
Most men are terrified of disagreeing with a woman because they think it will make her leave. In reality, respectful disagreement is one of the fastest ways to gain respect.
If she says something you do not agree with, calmly share your opinion. You do not need to argue or prove her wrong. You simply state your view with conviction.
For example, if she says she loves a certain movie that you dislike, you can respond with, “Interesting. I actually couldn’t get into it. I prefer films that challenge me more.” Delivered calmly, this communicates authenticity.
A man who agrees with everything comes across as weak. A man who holds his ground, even on small topics, shows strength. That is a crucial part of how to get a woman to respect you.
Respect Through Lifestyle
Your lifestyle communicates volumes about who you are. A man who sits at home every night, scrolling social media, does not project self respect. A man who is active, engaged, and pursuing passions communicates strength.
Think about your daily routine. Are you pursuing hobbies that excite you? Do you travel, explore, or learn new skills? Do you surround yourself with friends who inspire you?
When your lifestyle is rich and fulfilling, women naturally respect you because they see you are a man with purpose. You are not waiting for her to complete your life. You already have a full life, and she has the opportunity to join it.
Bringing It All Together
Learning how to get a woman to respect you is not about tricks or quick lines. It is about transforming the way you carry yourself in the world.
Shift your manner from submissive to confident. Practice posture, voice, and presence. Enforce boundaries calmly. Own your space wherever you go. Respect yourself first through discipline and lifestyle. Speak your truth with authority and do not fear disagreement.
When you embody these qualities, respect from women becomes automatic. You will no longer chase it. Instead, it will be given freely, because you have built it from within.
Applying These Principles in Everyday Situations
The theory behind respect is important, but true change happens when you begin applying it in your daily life. Let’s look at specific environments where you may meet women and how to adjust your behavior so that respect comes naturally.
Meeting Women on the Street
When you see a woman you want to approach during the day, remember the first three questions in her mind: why is he talking to me, what does he want, and is he confident or nervous.
Your manner here is everything. Approach slowly, with relaxed body language. Hold your ground at a comfortable distance of about one and a half meters. Speak with calm authority. For example, you might say, “I was walking this way and noticed you have a great style. I wanted to say hello.”
This is not a pickup line. It is direct, respectful, and confident. By being upfront about why you stopped her, you immediately answer her first questions. You do not need to hover, chase, or try too hard. Your openness communicates security.
Meeting Women at Social Events
At a dinner party, networking event, or art gallery, respect is shown through how you move in the space. If you walk around nervously, constantly seeking approval, women sense that quickly.
Instead, treat the environment as if you are the host. Stand tall, take your time, and introduce yourself naturally. When speaking, make eye contact not only with her but with others in the group. This shows you are socially comfortable.
If a woman joins your conversation, do not immediately shift all your attention to her. Continue engaging with everyone. This demonstrates that you are not desperate for her validation. Ironically, this makes her respect you more.
Meeting Women Through Friends
If you are introduced by a friend, you already have some social credibility. However, you must still show strength. Many men make the mistake of trying to impress the woman instantly. Instead, relax into the interaction.
Ask her a few questions, but balance them with statements about yourself. If she tests you with a joke or challenge, respond with humor rather than defensiveness. For instance, if she says, “You’re quieter than I expected,” you can reply with a smile, “I like to make people work for my stories.”
This kind of response shows quick wit and emotional security, two traits that instantly generate respect.
Respect in Romantic Relationships
Earning respect does not stop once you start dating. In fact, maintaining it is even more important if you want a long-term healthy relationship.
Setting Standards Early
From the beginning, communicate your standards. If you value punctuality, make it clear. If you expect honesty, show that through your own actions. The earlier you establish boundaries, the more natural they feel to her.
For example, if she cancels a date last minute without explanation, you do not get angry, but you also do not rush to reschedule. Instead, you say, “No worries. Let me know when you’re free again.” Then you wait for her to reach out. This simple action communicates self respect and sets the tone for mutual respect.
Balancing Affection and Authority
Respect does not mean you become cold or distant. Women also need affection, warmth, and connection. The balance is in giving love without losing authority.
If she does something kind, appreciate it sincerely. If you feel affection, express it openly. However, you do not overdo it to the point of neediness. Respect comes from consistency. She must know that while you care deeply for her, you will never compromise your values or lose your independence.
Handling Conflict
Conflict is inevitable in every relationship. The way you handle it determines whether respect grows or disappears.
If she raises her voice, you do not match her energy. You stay calm and measured. You listen to her point of view, acknowledge her feelings, and then clearly state your own perspective. You are not dismissive, but you are also not controlled by emotion.
For example, if she says, “You never spend enough time with me,” instead of getting defensive, you might reply, “I hear you. Time together is important to me too. At the same time, I need space to work on my goals. Let’s find a balance.”
This response validates her feelings while holding your ground. Over time, she will respect your ability to manage conflict with strength and maturity.
Common Mistakes That Kill Respect
Knowing how to get a woman to respect you also means knowing what destroys respect. Here are some of the most common mistakes men make.
Being Overly Available
If you drop everything the moment she calls or constantly rearrange your schedule to please her, you communicate that your life revolves around her. This may feel romantic at first, but long term it destroys respect.
Women want to be with a man who has his own purpose. If you cancel plans with friends, skip the gym, or neglect your work just to be with her, she sees you as weak. Instead, maintain your commitments. Show her that she is part of your life, not the center of it.
Over-Explaining Yourself
Another common mistake is over-explaining every action. For example, if you say you cannot meet tonight, you do not need to give her a full story about why. A simple, “I’ve got plans tonight, let’s do another day,” is enough.
When you over-explain, it comes across as seeking permission. When you state things directly, it communicates confidence.
Reacting to Tests
Many women naturally test men without realizing it. These tests are not malicious; they are subconscious ways to gauge strength.
If she teases you or questions your confidence, the worst thing you can do is react with anger or defensiveness. Instead, smile, laugh, or respond playfully. This shows you are unfazed.
A man who reacts negatively to tests loses respect quickly. A man who remains calm gains it.
Building Respect Through Leadership
One of the fastest ways to build respect is by taking the lead. Leadership does not mean controlling everything. It means having direction and giving structure.
When planning a date, suggest a place and time instead of asking endlessly what she wants. When walking together, guide the path without hesitation. When making decisions, consider her opinion but take responsibility for the final call.
Leadership makes women feel secure. It shows that you are decisive and confident, qualities that naturally earn respect.
Respect and Long-Term Attraction
Attraction may bring a woman to you, but respect is what keeps her. Without respect, attraction fades quickly.
A woman may find you physically appealing or charming at first, but if she senses weakness, inconsistency, or lack of purpose, her interest will disappear. On the other hand, if you consistently display confidence, boundaries, and leadership, her respect grows stronger over time.
This respect fuels deeper attraction, creating a relationship built on mutual admiration instead of short-term chemistry.
Final Thoughts on Everyday Application
Learning how to get a woman to respect you is not about pretending to be someone you are not. It is about removing behaviors that weaken you and embracing the qualities that naturally command respect.
Practice confident posture, controlled voice, and present awareness. Set and enforce boundaries without anger. Own your space in every environment. Maintain self respect through discipline and lifestyle. Handle conflict with maturity and lead with direction.
When you apply these principles consistently, respect follows automatically. Women will see you as a man of strength and authenticity. And most importantly, you will begin to respect yourself at a deeper level, which is the true foundation of lasting success in relationships.
Written by Gary Gunn
I coach men to build real self-confidence so they can meet, attract and date the women they truly desire.
My coaching is practical, real-world and focused on lasting behavioural change.
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