How to Start Cross Training Your Dating Life
In today’s blog, I want to talk about cross training your dating life.
I’ve just been on a marathon bike ride, and it hit me that cross training in your fitness life is a great idea. But why does no one ever think to do it in their dating life?
What everyone tends to do is repeat the same things over and over again without trying anything new. No growth, no challenge, no evolution. Today, I’m going to teach you how to cross train your dating life.
By the end of this post, you’ll have a step-by-step checklist that will help you meet and attract a wider variety of women than you’re currently meeting. At the moment, your dating pool might feel small and limited. I’m going to show you how to expand it—fast.
My name’s Gary Gunn, and I’m a professional dating coach. I don’t edit any of my footage or posts. This is raw, real, and unfiltered. If you want the truth about dating and how to actually improve, you’re in the right place.
Let’s get into it.
What Is Cross Training?
Let’s start with the basics.
If you just go running every day, chances are you’ll get injured. Same with cycling. Same with swimming. The reason is simple: your body gets overused in one way and underdeveloped in others.
Cross training is when you combine multiple elements—like running, swimming, cycling, weight training—to build a more complete, injury-resistant body. It’s what things like CrossFit and Hyrox are built on. They train a variety of movements to target multiple parts of your body.
This approach creates what many call the ultimate form of fitness.
So why not apply this same concept to your dating life?
Why You Should Cross Train Your Dating Life
Most guys rely on one or two methods to meet women. Usually, it’s dating apps or the odd night out. And that’s it.
If you’re only training one or two social muscles, your dating results will remain limited. But if you start to cross train your dating life, you open yourself up to more opportunities, more types of women, and more personal growth.
So here are a few powerful ways you can start cross training your dating life today.
Grab a pen and paper. I’m going to give you a checklist.
1. Book an Improvised Comedy Class
That’s right.
Improv comedy teaches you how to be present, how to listen, and how to respond in the moment. These are essential skills when you’re talking to women. Not only that, but it’s a fantastic way to meet people outside your usual social circles.
Most of my clients over the years have taken an improv class either before or after working with me—and it always improves their communication skills.
These classes usually run in 6, 10, or 12-week cycles. Book one today. Write it on your list.
2. Talk to One New Person Every Day
This doesn’t need to be a woman. It can be anyone. Old or young. Male or female.
The goal is to build your conversation muscle daily. This reduces anxiety and builds confidence. When the moment comes to speak to a woman you’re attracted to, it won’t feel like such a big deal.
This is one of my favorite forms of cross training your dating life. It builds consistency, discipline, and real-world social skills.
Set the goal now. One new person every day for the next 365 days. Track it like a streak. Once you’re 10 or 20 days in, you’ll be less likely to break the chain. And remember, this is about real life—not dating apps.
3. Read or Listen to Books Every Day
This one might sound odd. But it’s crucial.
Over the past 15 years, I’ve read roughly 1,500 books. When I see a woman reading something in public, there’s a high chance I’ve either read it, heard about it, or I’m curious enough to ask.
Reading allows you to start conversations based on genuine interest. And even if you haven’t read what she’s reading, you can say, “That looks interesting, what’s it about?” That’s how real connections begin.
Books also allow you to cross pollinate your conversations. If she’s into French literature, you might mention your love of Russian writers. Now you’re showing attractive traits—intellect, curiosity, and passion.
If you’re not sure where to begin, start with inspiring modern books. Then graduate to the classics. Books like The Alchemist are a great starting point. Books about building better habits also help.
Try to stay away from podcasts. Physical books or audiobooks tend to be more thoughtful and well-researched. I personally read or listen to at least one to three hours a day. This keeps me sharp, motivated, and ready for any conversation.
Add this to your list now: Read or listen to books daily.
4. Travel and Meet Women from Different Cultures
This is another powerful way to cross train your dating life.
Book a solo trip. Go somewhere new. Explore. Visit an art gallery. Join a walking tour. Attend a bar crawl. You don’t need to do anything crazy—the goal is just to experience different environments and meet different people.
This exposes you to different perspectives, different ways of thinking, and different types of women.
Plus, it gives you stories to tell. “When I was in Barcelona last summer, I found this tiny art café…” These are the kinds of things that make conversations rich and engaging.
Travel expands your worldview and gives you reference points that make you more interesting to talk to.
Add this to your checklist: Travel to new places with the intention of meeting new people.
5. Visit Art Galleries and Learn to Appreciate Art
Art galleries are one of my secret weapons.
You don’t need to know anything about art. Just go. Walk around. If something catches your eye, stand there for a while. Read about it. Think about it. Feel it.
That’s all you need to do.
Then, when you talk to someone later, you can say something like, “When I was at the Tate Modern, I saw a painting by Salvador Dali that made me stop and really think about time…”
Suddenly, you’re engaging, cultured, and different.
Add this to your checklist: Visit one new art gallery each month.
Why Cross Training Helps You Stay Ready
You can already start to see the benefits.
By doing these activities—improv classes, daily conversations, reading, travelling, art—you’re becoming more socially agile, more confident, more cultured. These are all ways of cross training your dating life that help you become ready for real-world interactions.
Because let’s be honest.
Right now, most guys are just hoping. They’re not preparing. They’re not doing anything behind the scenes to become more interesting or confident. They’re passive. They’re waiting for the right woman to show up and spark some magic.
But when you actually do the work, when you’re active in cross training your dating life, you’re already prepared. You’ve already done the internal reps. You’ve been reading. Talking. Exploring. You’ve built stories, perspectives, and habits.
And when you do meet a woman you’re attracted to, it flows. You have something to say. You’re already living a life worth sharing.
Cross Training My Own Life
I don’t just preach this stuff. I live it.
In my fitness life, I cross train all the time. I like running. I swim. I cycle. I do burpees. I mix things up because I like the eclectic nature of the training.
And I do the same professionally.
If you watch my content, you’ll know I’ve booked into RADA—the Royal Academy of Dramatic Arts in London—to do a course on the Meisner Technique. It’s an acting principle that helps you become more emotionally truthful and present. That’s cross training for me, especially when it comes to public speaking or making videos like this one.
This morning, I also looked up a writing course. I’ll be taking it in a few weeks. It’s a one-week program on short story writing.
Why?
Because being a good storyteller helps me communicate better in videos, in coaching, and in conversations. It’s another way of cross training my ability to connect.
I even looked at a course I sadly missed this year on dramatic voice for radio and audiobooks. That one’s only available next summer. But again, it’s something I’m actively pursuing to develop my range and skill set.
These are examples of how I cross train regularly—personally and professionally. Not just for my own benefit, but so I can be better at what I do and more engaging when I meet new people.
The Bigger Picture of Cross Training Your Dating Life
If you feel stuck in your dating life, if things aren’t moving in the direction you want, then take a step back and ask:
Are you actually doing anything behind the scenes?
Are you developing new skills?
Are you becoming more curious?
More engaging?
More present?
The more you try new things, the more your brain lights up. The more you experience, the easier it becomes to connect with others. And the more reference points you build, the more magnetic and unpredictable your energy becomes.
That’s the power of cross training your dating life.
You don’t need to do everything on this list. But I would suggest doing at least three or four of them consistently. Not once. Not as a one-off. But over the next three, six, or even twelve months.
This is how you grow. This is how you meet new women. This is how you enjoy the process.
And if you want direct help with this, then book one of my courses or a consultation call. I don’t promote my coaching in every post, but if you’ve been reading my content for a while and it resonates, maybe now is the time.
What Happens When You Don’t Cross Train
Let’s look at the alternative.
You do none of this. You don’t read. You don’t try anything new. You keep scrolling dating apps hoping someone matches with you. You go out once every couple of weeks with your friends and hope to get lucky.
It’s a limited approach.
You’re not preparing. You’re not adapting. And over time, your confidence starts to dip. Your conversations feel more repetitive. You stop putting yourself in new social environments. You become socially stale.
That’s the opposite of cross training your dating life.
Now imagine instead you’ve been doing improv for eight weeks. You’ve been having conversations with new people every day. You’ve read five new books. You’ve explored two new cities. You’ve walked through three different art galleries.
You’re on fire. You’re sharp. You’re inspired. Your energy is attractive.
You meet a woman and suddenly you have things to talk about. You have stories. You have reference points. And most importantly, you’re genuinely enjoying your life.
This Is the Real Secret to Becoming Magnetic
Women are drawn to men who are curious, passionate, and active in their lives. Not men who are waiting for the perfect opportunity. But men who create opportunity by constantly evolving.
That’s what cross training your dating life actually means.
You create your luck. You create your chances. You become the kind of man women want to talk to. Because you’ve done the work behind the scenes that no one else is doing.
You’ve invested in yourself.
So if you’re serious about changing your dating life, start this today. Don’t wait. Pick three or four things from this blog. Make your checklist. And begin.
Because once you start cross training your dating life, things change faster than you think.
If you want help with this, or want to go deeper, then book a call or check out my digital training programs. I’ve worked with thousands of men around the world, and I can help you build the dating life you actually want.
You’re just one decision away from starting.
Written by Gary Gunn
I coach men to build real self-confidence so they can meet, attract and date the women they truly desire.
My coaching is practical, real-world and focused on lasting behavioural change.
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