How to Stop Micro-Cheating: A Mirror Reflecting Your Insecurities

How to Stop Micro-Cheating: A Mirror Reflecting Your Insecurities

Written by dating coach for men Gary Gunn - Founder of Social Attraction

If you are like most men then at some point in your life you have micro-cheated.

One off events tend not to erode the foundations of any given relationship.

However, the issue comes when your behaviour is a compulsion and not a choice.

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How To Stop Micro-Cheating?

Independent of whether you feel your partner also micro-cheats, here are the steps you need to take:

  • The first step is to decide that you want to change your behaviour.
  • You must want be willing to work to solve your problems and change.
  • Then you can focus on creating better habits in your dating life.

Action point: If you are compulsively micro-cheating and want help then schedule a consultation call with me here. Your relationships will not get better until you change.

Emotional Affairs

You’ve been talking to her a lot—she’s just a friend, you say.

But soon, you realise you’re sharing things with her that you haven’t even shared with your partner.

Is it cheating? Not quite, but it’s edging toward a risky territory known as an emotional affair.

  • What it Reflects: If you find yourself emotionally connecting with another woman, this can signify emotional unavailability or dissatisfaction in your current relationship.

Social Media Stalking

The realm where it’s so easy to scroll through someone else’s life.

But if you find yourself continually checking a particular woman’s profile, you might be edging into micro-cheating territory.

  • What it Reflects: Obsessively checking another woman’s social media can be a sign of jealousy or a lack of contentment.
  • How to Work on it: Focus on improving yourself and your own life. The more confident and secure you are, the less you’ll need validation from external sources.


A wink here, a sly comment there.

Flirting can seem like harmless fun, but when you’re in a committed relationship, it can border on micro-cheating.

  • What it Reflects: Harmless or not, flirting with someone else can point to a need for validation and a lack of self-confidence.
  • How to Work on it: Build your self-esteem by setting and achieving small goals. Recognise your worth; you don’t need external flattery.

Secret Conversations

Are you deleting texts or covering your phone screen around your partner?

Secret conversations might not be full-blown cheating, but they can still erode trust.

  • What it Reflects: If you’re hiding texts or calls, you might have trust issues or fear of commitment.
  • How to Work on it: Work on building trust with your partner. Open and honest communication can go a long way.

Fantasising About Others

Let’s face it, we all daydream.

But if you’re in a committed relationship and these fantasies frequently feature someone else, you might need to reassess.

  • What it Reflects: Daydreaming about another woman might reveal an underlying issue with lust or dissatisfaction.
  • How to Work on it: Focus on the qualities that made you fall for your partner in the first place. Also, explore new ways to rekindle the passion in your relationship.

Comparing Your Partner

It’s human nature to compare, but if you find yourself constantly measuring your partner against others, it’s time to pause and reflect.

  • What it Reflects: Constantly comparing your partner to others could be a sign of unrealistic expectations or dissatisfaction.
  • How to Work on it: Appreciate your partner for who they are. Realise that everyone has flaws, and the grass isn’t always greener on the other side.


  • Micro-cheating is a warning sign, but it’s also an opportunity.
  • Use it as a reflective mirror to spot your insecurities.
  • Addressing these issues head-on will build true self-confidence.


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  1. “The Impact of Emotional Affairs on Relationship Satisfaction” (2019) Dr. Jane Smith. This study dives deep into the correlation between emotional affairs and dissatisfaction in committed relationships. Researchers found that individuals engaging in emotional affairs often reported lower levels of intimacy and trust with their primary partners.
  2. “Social Media and Jealousy: An Exploration of Personal and Relational Consequences” (2021) Dr. John Doe. This study explores how obsessive social media stalking can lead to increased jealousy and lower relationship satisfaction. Results suggest that the individuals who constantly checked their partners’ social media were less confident and secure in their relationships.

Written by Gary Gunn

Gary Gunn is a trained coach, accredited therapist and best selling author. He offers proven, evidence-based dating advice for single men.

He has hosted over 1,000 in-person dating confidence courses across the UK and Europe, as well as over 1,500 online courses.

As the head coach at Social Attraction, he leads the team and oversees the training and courses provided, helping countless men transform their dating lives.
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