What Women Want In A Man | Darwin’s Sexual Selection Theory

What Women Want In A Man | Darwin’s Sexual Selection Theory

Written by dating coach for men Gary Gunn - Founder of Social Attraction

In this blog, I will teach you how to know what women want in a man.

I delve deeper into Charles Darwin’s Sexual Selection Theory and give you some simple steps to take.

You can also transform your dating life with our digital products and coaching courses.

Confidence: An Irresistible Trait

Confidence is a major turn-on for women.

When a man believes in himself, it signals that he’s capable and reliable.

A confident man is not afraid to take charge, make decisions, and face challenges head-on.

To display confidence:

  • Stand tall
  • Maintain eye contact
  • Show your self-assurance through your body language and communication

Remember, genuine confidence comes from within and is built on self-awareness, competence, and self-esteem.

Sense of Humor: Laughter Wins Hearts

A good sense of humor is attractive because it showcases intelligence and creativity.

Women appreciate men who can make them laugh, lighten the mood, and offer an escape from everyday stress.

Developing a good sense of humor involves:

  • Being observant
  • Finding the funny side of situations
  • Being able to laugh at yourself

Remember, humor should be inclusive and never offensive.

Ambition: A Sign of Success

Women are drawn to ambitious men because it shows drive, determination, and a desire to achieve.

To demonstrate ambition:

  • Share your aspirations
  • Show dedication to personal growth
  • Work towards your dreams.

An ambitious man sets goals and works hard to reach them, which is an appealing quality for long-term relationships.

Emotional Intelligence: The Key to Connection

Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognize, understand, and manage one’s own emotions and those of others.

Cultivate emotional intelligence by:

  • Being open to feedback
  • Practicing active listening
  • Expressing emotions in a healthy way

Women value men who can empathize, communicate effectively, and respond to emotional cues.

Physical Attractiveness: A Natural Magnet

Physical attractiveness does play a role in Darwin’s sexual selection theory.

Adopt healthy habits to improve your overall appeal:

  • Maintain good hygiene
  • Dress well
  • Exercise regularly

While beauty is subjective, a well-groomed appearance and healthy lifestyle can enhance your attractiveness.

Kindness: The Universal Attractor

Kindness is a universally attractive trait, as it shows a person’s capacity to care for others.

Show kindness by:

  • Being considerate
  • Offering help
  • Treating others with respect

Women are drawn to men who display empathy, generosity, and compassion.

Reliability: The Foundation of Trust

Trust is essential for any relationship, and reliability is a key component.

Demonstrate reliability by:

  • Keeping your promises
  • Being punctual
  • Providing support when needed

Women seek men who are dependable and trustworthy.


  • Understanding Darwin’s sexual selection theory sheds light on the traits women find attractive in men.
  • By developing these qualities, you can increase your chances of finding a compatible partner.
  • This way you can start to build a strong, lasting relationship with the women you desire.


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  1. Buss, D. M. (1989). Sex differences in human mate preferences: Evolutionary hypotheses tested in 37 cultures. Behavioral and Brain Sciences, 12(1), 1-14. In this seminal study, evolutionary psychologist David Buss tested the evolutionary basis of human mate preferences across 37 different cultures. The results indicated that women consistently preferred traits such as ambition, social status, and financial resources in a potential mate, supporting the idea that sexual selection shapes human mating preferences.
  1. Li, N. P., Bailey, J. M., Kenrick, D. T., & Linsenmeier, J. A. (2002). The necessities and luxuries of mate preferences: Testing the tradeoffs. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 82(6), 947-955. This study by Li et al. examined the trade-offs between necessities and luxuries in mate preferences. They found that both men and women ranked kindness and understanding as essential qualities in a long-term partner. The study suggests that emotional intelligence and kindness are universally desired traits in potential mates, as they contribute to the foundation of a stable, supportive relationship.
  1. Re, D. E., & Rule, N. O. (2016). Appearance and physiognomy. In D. Matsumoto, H. C. Hwang, & M. G. Frank (Eds.), APA handbook of nonverbal communication (pp. 221-256). American Psychological Association. This book chapter by Re and Rule provides an overview of research on physical attractiveness and its role in social perception and mate selection. The authors highlight various studies that demonstrate the importance of physical attractiveness in mate choice, emphasizing that physical cues can serve as indicators of health, genetic fitness, and overall mate quality.

Written by Gary Gunn

Gary Gunn is a trained coach, accredited therapist and best selling author. He offers proven, evidence-based dating advice for single men.

He has hosted over 1,000 in-person dating confidence courses across the UK and Europe, as well as over 1,500 online courses.

As the head coach at Social Attraction, he leads the team and oversees the training and courses provided, helping countless men transform their dating lives.
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