Nietzsche and Lust: Facing Desire with Courage and Self-Mastery
When we think of lust, especially in the context of being married or committed to someone, it’s easy to feel conflicted, guilty, or even ashamed.
Traditional moral frameworks, whether religious or cultural, often tell us that such desires are wrong and must be suppressed or ignored.
But what if, instead of running away from these feelings, we faced them head-on?
This is where Friedrich Nietzsche’s philosophy offers a radically different approach.
Listen to my podcast version here – The Gary Gunn Show Podcast #320 – Nietzsche And Lust | Facing Desire With Courage And Self-Mastery
Table of Contents
Acknowledging Lust: The First Step
Nietzsche believed that desires, including lust, are natural, instinctual parts of being human.
He would argue that feeling lust isn’t something to be ashamed of – it’s part of our human experience.
Instead of denying or suppressing this feeling, Nietzsche would suggest we acknowledge it.
This doesn’t mean acting on it impulsively, but rather accepting it as a fact of life without moral judgment.
Why Is This Important?
Because in Nietzsche’s view, suppressing or ignoring our instincts can lead to a kind of internal conflict or even resentment towards ourselves.
By acknowledging our desires, we take the first step towards understanding them, rather than allowing them to fester in the shadows of our mind.
Understanding the Root Cause
Once we’ve acknowledged our lust, Nietzsche would encourage us to dig deeper into where it’s coming from.
Lust, like any strong desire, can be a signal that something else is going on beneath the surface.
- Are you feeling unfulfilled in your current relationship?
- Is there something missing in your life that you’re unconsciously seeking through this attraction?
- Or perhaps it’s a desire for novelty or excitement that’s not being met in your day-to-day life?
Further Exploration
Nietzsche would have us explore these questions with honesty and courage.
- What is this lust telling you about your life?
- What does it reveal about your needs, your values, and your current situation?
The goal is not to judge ourselves, but to gain a deeper understanding of our desires.
Reflecting on Implications
After understanding the root cause of your lust, Nietzsche would advise you to reflect on its implications.
- What does this desire mean for your relationship, your commitments, and your values?
This isn’t about making a snap decision to either act on or suppress your feelings.
The Bigger Life Picture
Instead, it’s about considering how this desire fits into the bigger picture of your life.
Nietzsche valued the idea of living authentically – being true to oneself.
But he also understood that authenticity involves making choices that align with your long-term goals and values, not just your immediate impulses.
- Would acting on this desire bring you closer to living the life you want, or would it create conflict and regret?
- Is there a way to address the root cause of your lust without disrupting your current life?
These are the kinds of reflections Nietzsche would encourage.
Channelling the Desire Constructively
Nietzsche was a strong proponent of the “will to power,” which he saw as the drive to assert and enhance oneself.
He believed that our desires and instincts could be powerful sources of energy and creativity if harnessed correctly.
Instead of viewing lust as something to be either indulged or suppressed, Nietzsche would suggest finding a way to channel that energy into something constructive.
New Experiences
This could mean working on your current relationship, seeking new experiences that fulfil the needs your lust is pointing to, or pursuing personal growth in other areas of your life.
By channelling the energy of lust into something positive, you’re not denying your desires but transforming them into a force that can enhance your life rather than disrupt it.
Revaluating Your Values
Finally, Nietzsche would likely encourage you to critically examine the values and moral beliefs you hold around lust and fidelity.
- Are these values truly yours, or are they imposed by society, religion, or tradition?
Nietzsche believed in the importance of creating one’s own values – values that are true to your personal philosophy and way of living.
Moral Standards
This doesn’t mean rejecting all moral standards, but rather questioning them and deciding for yourself what is right.
If you find that the traditional moral view on lust doesn’t align with your personal beliefs, it might be time to re-evaluate and redefine your values in a way that feels authentic to you.
Conclusion: The Nietzschean Approach to Lust
In essence, Nietzsche’s approach to dealing with lust is about facing your desires with honesty and courage, understanding where they come from, and integrating them into your life in a way that is true to who you are.
- It’s not about giving in to every impulse, nor is it about suppressing natural instincts.
- Instead, it’s about achieving a deeper understanding of yourself and finding ways to live authentically and powerfully in the face of life’s many challenges, including the challenge of desire.
By embracing this approach, you can turn what might feel like a conflict or a weakness into an opportunity for growth and self-mastery.
Your Next Steps
If you’re ready to take control of your dating life using Nietzsche’s principles of self-mastery and understanding your desires, I am here to help.
Secure a free 45-minute video consultation call with me today to explore how these philosophical insights can empower your relationships and personal growth.
This is your opportunity to gain clarity, confidence, and direction in your dating life by facing your desires head-on and integrating them into a more authentic and fulfilling life.
Resources
- “Beyond Good and Evil” by Friedrich Nietzsche (1886) – One of Nietzsche’s key works, where he explores morality, instincts, and the nature of human drives.
- “The Gay Science” by Friedrich Nietzsche (1882) – Another essential work that touches on Nietzsche’s views about life, desires, and the will to power.
- “Nietzsche: A Very Short Introduction” by Michael Tanner (2000) – A concise and easy-to-read overview of Nietzsche’s life and ideas, perfect for beginners.
Written by Gary Gunn
Gary Gunn is a trained coach, accredited therapist and best selling author. He offers proven, evidence-based dating advice for single men.
He has hosted over 1,000 in-person dating confidence courses across the UK and Europe, as well as over 1,500 online courses.
As the head coach at Social Attraction, he leads the team and oversees the training and courses provided, helping countless men transform their dating lives.
