How to Talk to Women: A Game Theory Approach For Smart Men

How to Talk to Women: A Game Theory Approach For Smart Men

Written by dating coach for men Gary Gunn - Founder of Social Attraction

In this article, I will teach you how to talk to women using a game theory approach to success.

Learning how to effectively talk to women is an essential skill if you are looking at attracting more women into your life.

You can also transform your dating life with our digital products and coaching courses.

Understanding the Game

To start, it is essential to comprehend the concept of game theory.

  • Game theory is the study of strategic decision-making, typically involving two or more players who make choices based on the potential actions of their opponents.
  • Applying game theory principles to conversations with women can help men develop a strategic approach to communication, leading to more rewarding outcomes.

To successfully apply game theory to talking to women, you must first analyze the “game” itself:

  • Each conversation is unique, and the strategies you employ should be flexible and adaptive.
  • Consider the context of the interaction, the goals of both parties, and the potential outcomes of various conversational tactics.

Recognizing patterns and learning from experience will help you refine your strategies over time.

Cooperative Strategy: Finding Common Ground

A cooperative strategy aims to create a mutually beneficial outcome for all parties involved.

When conversing with women, it’s important to find common ground by sharing interests, experiences, and values.


  • Actively listen and show genuine interest in what the woman is saying.
  • Share personal stories and anecdotes that relate to the topic of conversation.
  • Look for opportunities to build on common interests or shared experiences.

This can foster a sense of camaraderie and make the interaction more enjoyable for both individuals.

By engaging in cooperative behavior, you increase the likelihood of reaching a satisfactory outcome in your conversation.


  • Dominate the conversation or make it all about yourself.
  • Pretend to share an interest in something you’re not passionate about.
  • Dismiss or minimize the importance of her interests and experiences.

Mutual Benefits: The Nash Equilibrium

John Nash’s concept of equilibrium can be applied to conversations between men and women.

The Nash Equilibrium is a state where all players in a game have chosen their optimal strategy, considering the strategies of the other players.


  • Strive for a balanced conversation that allows both parties to express themselves.
  • Show empathy and understanding when discussing sensitive or emotional topics.
  • Be open to adjusting your conversational approach based on the other person’s needs.

In the context of a conversation, this means that both parties are satisfied with the outcome, leading to a successful and engaging discussion.


  • Focus solely on your goals and desires, neglecting the woman’s perspective.
  • Disregard her feelings or experiences in favor of pushing your agenda.
  • Insist on a particular conversational topic when it is clear she is not comfortable discussing it.

Adapting to Non-verbal Cues

Non-verbal cues are an essential aspect of communication that often go unnoticed.

By being attentive to the body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice of the woman you are talking to, you can gain valuable insights into her thoughts and feelings.


  • Maintain appropriate eye contact to show interest and attentiveness.
  • Observe her body language for signs of comfort or discomfort.
  • Adjust your tone and body language to match the mood of the conversation.

Adapting your conversation style based on these non-verbal cues will enable you to create a more comfortable and authentic connection.


  • Ignore or misinterpret her non-verbal signals, leading to misunderstandings.
  • Invade her personal space or engage in unwelcome physical contact.
  • Overwhelm her with aggressive body language or loud, dominating speech.

Applying Game Theory

By applying game theory principles to conversations with women, you can develop a strategic and successful approach to communication.

By focusing on cooperative strategies, finding common ground, understanding the Nash Equilibrium, and adapting to non-verbal cues, you can significantly enhance your ability to connect with women on a deeper level.


  • Be authentic and true to yourself while interacting with women.
  • Practice good hygiene and maintain a neat appearance, demonstrating self-respect and consideration for others.
  • Develop your sense of humor and learn to make others laugh, creating a lighthearted and enjoyable atmosphere.

Remember, communication is an art that can be mastered through practice and dedication.

As a single man looking to attract more women, it’s important to present yourself as a confident and genuine individual.

Confidence is appealing and can help create a sense of ease during conversations. Here are some additional do’s and don’ts to consider:


  • Resort to dishonesty or manipulation to win a woman’s interest, as this approach rarely leads to lasting connections.
  • Rely on outdated stereotypes or generalizations about women, as this can be off-putting and damage your chances of forging meaningful relationships.
  • Come on too strong or push for intimacy too soon, as this can make women feel uncomfortable or pressured.


  • Remember that building a meaningful connection with someone takes time and effort.
  • It’s important to be patient and persistent in your journey when talking to women.
  • You will be better equipped to navigate the intricate world of dating and attract the kind of women you desire.


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  1. Knapp, M. L., & Vangelisti, A. L. (2009). Interpersonal communication and human relationships (6th ed.). Boston: Pearson/Allyn and Bacon. This comprehensive textbook delves into various aspects of interpersonal communication, including finding common ground, active listening, and nonverbal cues. The authors draw from numerous research studies to support their claims and provide valuable insights into effectively communicating with others, including women.
  2. Finkel, E. J., Eastwick, P. W., & Reis, H. T. (2015). Best research practices in psychology: Illustrating epistemological and pragmatic considerations with the case of relationship science. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 108(2), 275-297. This article highlights the importance of cooperative strategies in building relationships. The authors discuss the impact of factors like similarity, responsiveness, and shared experiences on relationship satisfaction. Their findings emphasize the significance of finding common ground and adopting a cooperative approach in conversations with women.
  3. Hall, J. A., Coats, E. J., & LeBeau, L. S. (2005). Nonverbal behavior and the vertical dimension of social relations: a meta-analysis. Psychological Bulletin, 131(6), 898-924. This meta-analysis examines the role of nonverbal cues in social interactions. The authors found that nonverbal behaviors like eye contact, facial expressions, and body language are critical in shaping how people perceive and relate to each other. The findings of this study support the importance of being attentive to non-verbal cues when talking to women.

Written by Gary Gunn

Gary Gunn is a trained coach, accredited therapist and best selling author. He offers proven, evidence-based dating advice for single men.

He has hosted over 1,000 in-person dating confidence courses across the UK and Europe, as well as over 1,500 online courses.

As the head coach at Social Attraction, he leads the team and oversees the training and courses provided, helping countless men transform their dating lives.
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