Dating Advice for Newly Single Men in their 40’s: Backed by Science

Dating Advice for Newly Single Men in their 40’s: Backed by Science

Written by dating coach for men Gary Gunn - Founder of Social Attraction

In this article, I will provide you with some professional dating advice for newly single men in their 40’s.

Dating can sometimes feel like entering a whole new world, especially if you are newly single.

Armed with a scientific approach, however, you can confidently navigate this landscape and find success in the dating arena.

You can also transform your dating life with our digital products and coaching courses.

Venturing Out: Meeting New Women in the Real World

While online dating has gained popularity in recent years, there’s still much to be said for meeting people in person.

Here are some scientifically supported ways to increase your chances of making meaningful connections in the real world:

  • Take action during your day-to-day life: Hone your skills in approaching women you find attractive during your everyday routine. Take initiative and connect with new women in places such as the gym, coffee shops, or grocery stores, allowing you to build connections in real-time.
  • Expand your social circle: Studies show that people with larger and more diverse social networks are more likely to find romantic partners. Join clubs, attend events, and engage in activities that interest you to meet like-minded individuals.
  • Leverage your existing connections: Research suggests that friends of friends make ideal romantic partners, as shared social circles can create a sense of familiarity and trust. Don’t be shy about letting your friends know you’re looking to meet new people.

By taking action on a daily basis, you will meet more women, grow in self-confidence and get back into dating right-away.

Mastering the Art of Flirting: Teasing and Creating Sexual Tension

Flirting is a playful and subtle way to express interest in someone and build sexual tension.

To become a master of flirting, consider the following tips based on scientific research:

  • Use gentle teasing: Playful teasing can be an effective flirting tactic, as it fosters a sense of closeness and creates a fun, lighthearted atmosphere. Teasing allows you to test the waters of a potential romantic connection with a woman without fear of rejection. Just be sure to keep it light and avoid crossing the line into hurtful or offensive territory.
  • Employ the power of touch: Subtle, non-threatening touch can be a powerful flirting tool. Studies have shown that even brief instances of physical contact can increase feelings of attraction and connection. Try lightly touching the person’s arm during conversation or guiding them through a door with a gentle hand on their back.
  • Use playful banter: Engaging in witty and playful banter can create a dynamic and exciting atmosphere, which may increase the likelihood of a romantic connection. Be confident, relaxed, and listen actively to create opportunities for spontaneous, lighthearted exchanges.

By learning how to tease women, you will no longer enter into platonic relationships and instead date the women you desire.

Understanding Attraction: The Psychology Behind Romantic Connections

Attraction is a complex interplay of various factors, including physical appearance, personality, and shared interests.

To increase your chances of making a lasting connection, consider these psychological principles:

  • The similarity-attraction effect: Numerous studies have demonstrated that people are more likely to be attracted to those who share similar beliefs, values, and interests. Find common ground with the women you meet to promote a sense of connection.
  • Reciprocal liking: It turns out that simply knowing someone is attracted to us can increase our own attraction towards them. This phenomenon, known as reciprocal liking, suggests that expressing genuine interest in someone can boost your appeal.
  • The halo effect: This cognitive bias leads us to perceive physically attractive people as having other positive qualities, such as intelligence and kindness. While physical attraction is undoubtedly important, remember to look beyond appearances and focus on shared values and personality traits.

By understanding female psychology on a deeper level, you can work out a more tailored approach to dating with a much higher success rate.


  • Venture out and expand your social circle to meet like-minded women in everyday settings, bypassing the constraints of dating apps.
  • Refine your skills in playful teasing and flirting, allowing you to confidently interact with women during your day-to-day life.
  • Look beyond physical attractiveness and explore common interests, cultivating deeper connections with potential romantic partners.

We can work together to get you back into dating

We all experience moments of uncertainty, particularly when reentering the dating scene after a significant period of time. It’s completely natural to feel this way, and it’s important to recognise and accept these feelings.

Furthermore, it is helpful to know that we all struggle with dating issues at some point in our lives, and that any difficulties can be solved.

If you would like my support, then my coaching can offer valuable guidance on the following areas:

  • Practical tools and techniques to boost your confidence with modern dating.
  • Teach you how to approach and engage with new women you find attractive.
  • Support you on your journey to avoid unnecessary mistakes, pain, and rejection.


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  1. The role of friends in predicting new friendships: Hall, J. A. (2018). How many hours does it take to make a friend? Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 36(4), 1278-1296. In this study, Hall aimed to understand the process of making friends and the time it takes to establish various levels of friendships. Additionally, the results revealed that people with larger and more diverse social networks were more likely to make new friends and form romantic connections.
  1. The Duchenne smile research: Ekman, P., & Friesen, W. V. (1982). Felt, false, and miserable smiles. Journal of Nonverbal Behavior, 6(4), 238-252. Ekman and Friesen conducted research on the different types of smiles and their effects on interpersonal communication. Additionally, they identified the Duchenne smile as a genuine smile involving the muscles around the eyes, in addition to the mouth, which has a significant impact on how others perceive the smiler in social situations.
  1. The similarity-attraction effect: Montoya, R. M., Horton, R. S., & Kirchner, J. (2008). Is actual similarity necessary for attraction? A meta-analysis of actual and perceived similarity. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 25(6), 889-922. In this meta-analysis, Montoya, Horton, and Kirchner assessed the relationship between similarity and attraction. Additionally, they found that people tend to be more attracted to those who share similar beliefs, values, and interests, suggesting that finding common ground can foster a sense of connection.
  1. Reciprocal liking: Aronson, E., & Linder, D. (1965). Gain and loss of esteem as determinants of interpersonal attractiveness. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 1(2), 156-171. Aronson and Linder investigated how the knowledge of someone’s attraction towards us influences our own attraction towards them. Additionally, their findings showed that simply knowing someone is attracted to us can increase our own attraction to them, a phenomenon known as reciprocal liking.
  1. The halo effect: Nisbett, R. E., & Wilson, T. D. (1977). The halo effect: Evidence for unconscious alteration of judgments. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 35(4), 250-256. In this study, Nisbett and Wilson examined the cognitive bias known as the halo effect, which leads us to perceive physically attractive people as having other positive qualities. Additionally, their research demonstrated the importance of being aware of this bias when forming impressions of potential romantic partners.
  1. Teasing and flirting: Study: Hall, J. A. (2015). Sexual selection and humour in courtship: A case for warmth and extroversion. Evolutionary Psychology, 13(3), 1-10. In this study, Hall explored the role of humour and teasing in courtship, arguing that playful teasing can be an effective flirting tactic that leads to closeness and tests the waters of potential romantic connections without fear of rejection.

Written by Gary Gunn

Gary Gunn is a trained coach, accredited therapist and best selling author. He offers proven, evidence-based dating advice for single men.

He has hosted over 1,000 in-person dating confidence courses across the UK and Europe, as well as over 1,500 online courses.

As the head coach at Social Attraction, he leads the team and oversees the training and courses provided, helping countless men transform their dating lives.
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