Anxiety Approaching Women: Try These Grounding Techniques

Anxiety Approaching Women: Try These Grounding Techniques

Written by dating coach for men Gary Gunn - Founder of Social Attraction

In this article, I will teach you how to have less anxiety approaching women.

I provide twelve different grounding techniques that I use with my clients that are psychologically proven.

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Breathing Techniques

  • Discreet Deep Breathing: Before approaching someone, take a few slow, deep breaths. Inhale through your nose for a count of four, hold for a count of four, and exhale through your mouth for a count of four. This simple exercise can help calm your nerves and refocus your attention.
  • Box Breathing: Practice this technique by inhaling for four counts, holding your breath for four counts, exhaling for four counts, and holding your breath again for four counts. Repeat this cycle a few times to reduce anxiety and regain focus.

Memory Strategies

  • Memory Recall: Bring to mind a positive experience or memory in detail. Focusing on the positive aspects helps shift your thoughts away from anxiety and into a more positive mindset.
  • Anchoring: Choose a word or phrase that evokes calmness or confidence, such as “I am confident” or “I can do this.” Silently repeat this phrase to yourself a few times before approaching someone you’re interested in.

Using Numbers

  • Counting Technique: Distract yourself from anxious thoughts by counting backward from 100 by 3s or performing a similar mental task. This exercise refocuses your attention.
  • Multiplication Tables: Mentally recite multiplication tables, starting with simpler ones (e.g., 2s and 3s) and progressing to more challenging ones (e.g., 7s and 8s). This helps shift your thoughts away from anxiety.
  • The 7-3 Technique: Think of a random number, subtract 7 from it, then add 3 to the result. Keep alternating between subtracting 7 and adding 3. This exercise requires concentration and refocuses your attention away from anxiety.

Speaking Words

  • Word Association: Think of a random word and come up with as many related words or phrases as possible. This mental exercise distracts from anxious thoughts and engages your creativity.
  • Alphabet Game: Choose a category (e.g., animals or food) and think of an item within that category for each letter of the alphabet. This mental exercise occupies your mind and reduces anxiety.

Additional Practices

  • Power Posing: Before approaching someone, assume a confident posture, such as standing tall with your shoulders back and head held high. Research suggests that power posing increases confidence and reduces anxiety.
  • Visualize a Positive Outcome: Picture a successful interaction in your mind before approaching someone. Visualizing positive outcomes can build confidence and lower anxiety.
  • Focus on Physical Sensations: Briefly concentrate on the sensations in your hands or feet. Focusing on these physical sensations redirects attention away from anxious thoughts.


  • Developing the ability to manage anxiety and boost confidence when approaching women is crucial.
  • By practicing these grounding exercises you can improve your overall social interactions.
  • Remember to practice these techniques regularly, ensuring you become more comfortable using them in real-life situations.


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  1. Carney, D. R., Cuddy, A. J. C., & Yap, A. J. (2010). Power posing: Brief nonverbal displays affect neuroendocrine levels and risk tolerance. Psychological Science, 21(10), 1363-1368. This study found that adopting high-power poses (such as standing tall with shoulders back and head held high) for just two minutes can lead to increased testosterone levels, decreased cortisol levels, and greater risk-taking behavior. This supports the idea that power posing can increase feelings of confidence and reduce anxiety.
  1. Ma, X., Yue, Z. Q., Gong, Z. Q., Zhang, H., Duan, N. Y., Shi, Y. T., Wei, G. X., & Li, Y. F. (2017). The effect of diaphragmatic breathing on attention, negative affect and stress in healthy adults. Frontiers in Psychology, 8, 874. This study examined the effect of diaphragmatic breathing (a deep breathing technique similar to the discreet deep breathing exercise mentioned earlier) on attention, negative affect, and stress. The results showed that diaphragmatic breathing significantly improved attention and decreased negative affect and stress levels in participants, indicating the potential benefits of deep breathing exercises for anxiety reduction.
  1. Biegel, G. M., Brown, K. W., Shapiro, S. L., & Schubert, C. M. (2009). Mindfulness-based stress reduction for the treatment of adolescent psychiatric outpatients: A randomized clinical trial. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 77(5), 855-866. This randomized clinical trial investigated the effects of mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR) on adolescent psychiatric outpatients. MBSR includes various grounding and mindfulness techniques, such as body scan meditation and focused attention exercises. The results showed that MBSR led to significant reductions in anxiety, depression, and somatic distress, demonstrating the potential benefits of mindfulness techniques in managing anxiety and promoting emotional well-being.

Written by Gary Gunn

Gary Gunn is a trained coach, accredited therapist and best selling author. He offers proven, evidence-based dating advice for single men.

He has hosted over 1,000 in-person dating confidence courses across the UK and Europe, as well as over 1,500 online courses.

As the head coach at Social Attraction, he leads the team and oversees the training and courses provided, helping countless men transform their dating lives.
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