7 Habits Of Successful Men With Women | How I Coach My Clients

Written by dating coach for men Gary Gunn - Founder of Social Attraction

If you ever seen a guy walk into a room and women just seem to notice him – and you think “what’s he got that I don’t?” – it’s not looks or money.

It’s habits.

Men who are successful with women act, think and carry themselves different. And the best part – these habits can be learned.
I’ve coached thousands of men all over the world – and I’ve seen it again and again. Once you change your daily actions, everything else shifts.

This article will walk you through the 7 core habits I see in men who win with women – and I’ll show you how I coach my clients to actually live these out day-to-day.

This isn’t about tricks or cheesy lines – it’s about becoming the kind of man women feel drawn to.

Let’s go.

Habit 1 – They Take the Lead

Confident men don’t wait for signs, signals or green lights. They lead.

Whether it’s starting a conversation, planning a date, or making a move – they’re not sitting back hoping something happens. They decide. They move. And women feel that clarity.

Because leadership in dating isn’t about control – it’s about creating direction. And most women respond instinctively to a man who knows where he’s going.

How I Coach Clients to Implement This Habit:

First thing I do – we remove the idea of “waiting for permission”. That mindset kills attraction.

Then I get them taking small daily actions:

Saying what they want clearly (no filters)
Practising decisions in low-stakes situations (e.g. choosing where to go on a night out)
Using the “3-second rule” to speak to women before overthinking takes over

We stack these into their daily routines using habit anchors – like linking “take the lead” moments with their morning coffee or when they leave the house.

Over time, they stop asking “Should I…?” and just start leading.

Habit 2 – They Tease Women

Men successful with women don’t play it safe. They tease.

Why? Because teasing shows confidence. It tells her you’re not intimidated by her looks or playing the “nice guy” game.
Teasing flips the dynamic – now she’s wondering how to impress you.
Most guys are too serious, too polite, or too scared to ruffle her feathers. That’s why they end up as “just friends.”

Teasing is how confident men spark attraction without trying hard.

How I Coach Clients to Implement This Habit:

I start by making sure they drop the fear of “getting it wrong.”

We go straight into practising 3 go-to teases:

The Desperation Tease
“You’re clearly trying way too hard to impress me.”
The Misinterpret Tease
“You saying you love dogs is just your way of flirting with me, right?”
The Predictable Tease
“You strike me as someone who still watches Disney movies on Sundays.”

We roleplay these lines until they land naturally – then I get them to use one per conversation when speaking to women.

Every time they get a smile or playful shove, it anchors the behaviour.

The goal is to stop walking on eggshells and start sparking fun.

Habit 3 – They Create Emotional Impact

Confident men don’t just talk facts – they make women feel something.

While most guys stay surface level – talking about jobs, travel, or where she’s from – successful men know how to trigger emotion.
That’s what makes a conversation memorable.
They tap into her highs, her challenges, her stories. And they open up just enough to create a spark of depth.

That’s where connection lives.

How I Coach Clients to Implement This Habit:

We train this through emotional connection drills. Here’s what I get clients doing:

Ask emotional questions like:
“What’s been your biggest win this year?”
“What motivates you when no one’s watching?”
Listen for her emotional words – and reflect them back.
If she says “I was proud,” you reply: “That’s powerful – being proud of yourself is underrated.”
Then I get them to share one of their own emotional moments – not to impress her, but to create mutual vulnerability.
Something like: “I felt that exact same thing when I ran my first workshop… heart was racing but I pushed through.”

This isn’t about being deep 24/7. It’s about moving the conversation from the head to the heart.

Once a woman feels seen emotionally – she remembers you.

Habit 4 – They Set Boundaries

Men successful with women don’t tolerate mixed signals, flakiness or low-effort behaviour.

They know what they want – and they say it clearly.
It’s not about control. It’s about standards.

When you know what you stand for, you don’t chase attention – you filter for alignment.

How I Coach Clients to Implement This Habit:

This is where most men struggle. They wait. They explain. They hope.

We train clear boundaries and direct expectations:

Set reply deadlines – When offering a date, we practise saying:
“Hey, I’m heading to this spot Saturday. Let me know by 6pm today if you want to come.”
Clear. Direct. No waiting around.
Speak your expectations – I guide clients to be upfront:
“I wouldn’t date a woman who’s constantly on social media — I value real presence.”
It sets the tone early and filters out mismatches.
Learn to say no – The foundation of all boundaries.
I challenge them to say no in everyday life.
Because if you can’t say no to a flaky friend or a draining colleague, you won’t say no when a woman disrespects your time.

Boundaries don’t push women away. They draw in the right ones – and keep your self-respect intact.

Habit 5 – They Build Emotional Control

Men successful with women don’t let their emotions control their actions.

They don’t spiral when she doesn’t text back.
They don’t panic if a conversation goes flat.
They don’t need reassurance.

Why? Because they’ve trained their emotional state like a muscle.

They stay composed. Grounded. Unshakeable.

That stability is rare—and women trust it instantly.

How I Coach Clients to Implement This Habit:

We work on this from day one. Here’s how:

Breathwork drills – 2 minutes, 3 times a day. Breathe in for 4, hold for 4, out for 6. When the nervous system is calm, the mind follows.
Reframing rejection – I get them to write down their top 3 dating setbacks… and reframe them as lessons or wins.
(e.g. “She ghosted me” becomes “I learnt to spot low investment earlier.”)
Trigger practice – I deliberately push their buttons during roleplay (e.g. simulate a flakey woman) and coach them to hold centre, stay playful, or walk away.

We’re not trying to feel nothing – we’re training them to act from strength, not from emotion.

Emotional control creates trust. Trust creates attraction.

Habit 6 – They Create Real-World Options

Confident men don’t sit around waiting for women to come to them – they put themselves in environments where meeting women is normal, fun and frequent.

They don’t swipe. They don’t chase.
They live a life that naturally brings them into contact with high-quality women.

More options = less pressure = more confidence.

How I Coach Clients to Implement This Habit:

First thing – dating apps are deleted. I get them off the phone and into the real world.

Then we build what I call a high-opportunity lifestyle:

They join 2 new social activities – Think: dance classes, improv nights, book clubs, volunteering, language meetups. These are goldmines for organic, relaxed interaction.
They do weekly “immersion sessions” – I send them to cafés, parks, or local events with one mission: start conversations. Doesn’t have to be flirty – just get social momentum going.
They track reps, not results – Each week, they log how many new people they interacted with. No pressure. Just proof they’re building real-world options.

Most men try to get confidence before they take action.

I flip it.

We take action – and confidence follows.

Habit 7 – They Invest in Themselves First

Men who are consistently successful with women don’t make women the goal – they make growth the goal.

They invest in their mindset, their confidence, their skills, their purpose.
Because when your life is full, women become the bonus — not the fix.

This flips the frame: you’re not trying to get a woman. You’re building a life that naturally attracts one.

How I Coach Clients to Implement This Habit:

We don’t start with chasing. We start with building.

Here’s how I guide them:

Personal ritual design – We stack confidence-building habits into their morning and evening routines. Breathwork. Visualisation. Affirmations. Reflection. All locked in.
Weekly “win logs” – Every week they list three things they did to improve themselves. No one else sees it. It’s about internal momentum.
One meaningful challenge per month – That could be public speaking, taking a cold approach, or going to a new city alone. Something that stretches them.

And when a client gets too focused on one woman?

I ask:
“What would your best self be doing right now if she didn’t exist?”

That question re-centres everything. The woman doesn’t make the man. The man makes the life. And the right woman joins it.

Conclusion – Build the Habits, Become the Man

If you want lasting success with women, it doesn’t come from tricks, lines or chasing attention.

It comes from building who you are:

These 7 habits aren’t tips – they’re a way of living.
And once they’re part of your day-to-day life, you stop trying to impress women… and start attracting them.
The confident man doesn’t wait, hope or guess. He leads. He builds. He acts.

Start with one habit. Stack the next. Stay consistent. This isn’t about being perfect – it’s about becoming undeniably you.

And that’s what women respond to.

Speak to Me Today

If you’re ready to apply this in your life and want help building these habits fast –

➡️ Click here to speak to me today

Just a powerful conversation to move you forward.

Let’s get to work.

Written by Gary Gunn

Gary Gunn is an internationally accredited coach with over 17 years of experience in behaviour change.

He has hosted over 1,200 in-person dating confidence courses across the world, as well as over 1,500 online courses.

As the head coach at Social Attraction, he leads the team and oversees the training and courses provided, helping countless men transform their dating lives.